Dipset’s Shiest Bubz

Shiest Bubz is the Dipset-affiliated head of Purple City Records, practically as known for his marijuana exploits as for his music. He recently released his solo debut The International Bud Dealer (The I.B.D), and spoke to Supreme about lavender bud, changes at Purple City, how he became an emcee.

First question: Is the best weed always purple?

No. It’s the funnest to look at, though. If your intentions were to make purple weed, then I guess it’s a good thing.

It must be hard to accidentally make purple weed, though.

Not really. It’s a temperature thing, it’s scientific, you know? It’s more like genetics and lights and shock treatment. That’s a High Times issue right there.

You pride yourself on being true to what you rap about. Do you think there is any truth to Rick Ross’s claims?

He’s trying to portray a coke lord, being that he’s from Miami and that’s what they’re known for. So he’s no threat to what I’m doing. But Rick Ross is not on the top of my list of favorite rappers, I’ll tell you that.

You come from an atypical rap background, in that your dad is from Trinidad and your parents are still together. How do you think that has influenced your music?

It gives my music structure. When I do albums, there’s a start, a middle, and an end. It’s like a relationship. My dad taught me to always have my own, to work hard for it, and that I could achieve anything I wanted to. That’s the whole premise of me doing music, to prove that I could do something that I learned. I wasn’t born into the music game, I evolved into the music game.

You never thought rapping was your strong suit.

I’ve been listening to hip hop since it started, and in high school I came to the conclusion that I just wasn’t good at rapping. I figured I wasn’t going to get into the music industry. I figured that wasn’t going to be my ticket. But what happened was, I was like, “If I can’t be a rapper, then I’m just going to live the lifestyle of a rapper, or even a drug dealer.” Living the lifestyle, it attracted entertainers to me — everyone from the NBA to the rap world. They said, “You have to be a part of this.” Sometimes it’s not what you know, it’s who you know.

Do you ever feel like that lifestyle is empty and phony? That it’s not all it’s cracked up to be?

I do feel like that a lot of the time. What people don’t understand is that the jewelry and the expensive clothes they’re chasing, a lot comes from that. People that have nothing, they’re chasing that lifestyle, people are dying for that type of stuff every day. And now that the recession is here, if you’re living in New York City you can’t really front like you have ten cars. Because, if that’s really the case, the wolves are going to come get you, man. In hip hop, I’d rather see more realistic rapping, more realistic looks, and not just Cristal popping and bitches. Because, though that’s going on, it’s not going on to the extent that it’s portrayed.

Since you never though you were going to be a rapper, was it hard to gain the confidence to actually do it?

Even before I entered the music game, I was like, “I’m going to learn how to do this.” I’d observed people that I thought were less qualified, and since they were doing it, I thought I could. There’s maybe a million rappers in New York – if there’s nine million people, there’s got to be a million rappers. So, with that being said, I knew I had to do homework, I had to learn to like my voice, I had to learn a bunch of things. And over time I just felt like I evolved into that. I feel like I’m on the right track.

Are you satisfied with your album?

I’m going to keep it 100 [percent real]; I feel like this new album is the most underrated album of the year, but also the hottest. It’s hotter than the Jim Jones album, it’s hotter than Rick Ross’s album. I’m a hot dude. I’m never going to do anything wack. All of my albums have always been hot. This one is even hotter because it’s all me, and you get to hear the story. It’s a story about a guy doing his thing, selling bud. He’s the number one bud man. He’ll smoke anyone out. You can relate to it; that’s what makes it relevant to what’s going on.

I know you’re a big proponent of the independent hustle. Do you think Jim Jones should have stayed with Koch?

I said that in an interview one time, but now I think it was better for him to go to a major. There’s more money. Even though I had personal issues with Jim Jones at one point that I never really brought to the surface, I always wanted him to win. And I still want him to win. I felt like he was winning more on Koch, but he had to go to the next level and get his feet wet. So, no, he shouldn’t have stayed on Koch.

Tell me about the changes on the Purple City label, and what sparked them.

Purple City was built as a stepping stone for artists to come out and get a look, and that’s continuing. The new roster consists of artists under 25, which include Smoke Dza, Streets Da Block – who’s a 106 & Park champ six times – and Den 10. Also Harlem veteran Broadway Slim. He’s over 25, but it is what it is.

Un Kasa and Agallah were kind of in denial of the positions and roles that they played in Purple City. They wanted to play different roles. It was a conflict of interests. When you make a couple dollars for the first time, there’s a saying, “You got a little money and you don’t know how to act.” That was kind of the problem. They saw some money and they felt like they should be a boss. The word “boss” in Harlem is a big word that everyone likes to use, but it’s a hard shoe to fill. So, I was like, “If that’s the case, go ahead. Control your own destiny.” No one artist makes Purple City anyway, because it’s a finance thing.

Kanye West: Rap’s Liberal Nightmare

While every rapper this side of RA the Rugged Man voted for Obama, hip hop is still a conservative culture. In fact, as far as its celebration of capitalism, praise for God and disdain for homosexuality is concerned, it has lots in common with the G.O.P.

More to the point, mainstream hip hop doesn’t seem particularly interested in evolving. Rapping about rims, parties and chicks with big butts has worked thus far, the logic seems to be, so why change?

Kanye West used to fit into rap’s conservative mold quite nicely. This was a man who came up under the mainstream label system with Jay-Z as his mentor, a man who — for all his lyrical and entrepreneurial gifts — has shown little inclination to shake things up.

West’s first monster hit, “Jesus Walks,” meanwhile, brought Christianity into the mainstream like nothing in hip hop’s history. And on later albums he stuck largely to the rap playbook as well, rapping about conniving hos (”Gold Digger”) and featuring big breasted white women like Pamela Anderson in his videos. Sure, he may have felt bad about exploiting diamond miners in Sierra Leone, but that didn’t mean he was going to give up his Jesus piece.

Still, there were always hints he didn’t buy into hip hop orthodoxy completely. Take the preppy, pastel-accented clothes he wore, which caused emcees like Beanie Sigel to accuse him of being gay. (Plenty of others probably would have spoken up, too, except that they needed his beats.) Rather than simply denying he was a homosexual, West went on to denounce homophobia in rap.

But in recent months West has begun challenging practically everything rappers take for granted. He started by releasing something of an anti-rap album, 808s & Heartbreak, which featured mostly singing. Next he announced that he lost (or at least toned down) his faith. “I don’t believe in religion and people that are about giving it all up to Jesus,” he said. And then he dropped the bomb - declaring that wanted to pose nude sometime in the near future.

Slathering yourself full of oil a la Nelly and Curtis is one thing, but posing nude? That’s, um, groundbreaking.

“I [want to] break every rule and mentality of hip-hop, of black culture, of American culture,” he went on.

Now, there’s no doubt that hip hop — not to mention black and American culture — could stand to be more tolerant and open-minded. But by transforming himself from a conservative follower to an off-the-deep-end liberal, he seems to be breaking the rules simply to break them. In fact, he sounds like a disgruntled teenager.

Then again, Kanye has charmed us before by being immature, such as when he rushed on-stage at the MTV Europe VMAs after losing to Justice and Simian. So maybe we’ll learn to love this rebellious phase of his life.

But that still doesn’t mean I want to see his nude pictures.

Whatever happened to White Rappers?

Rock and roll was once the domain of black musicians, until Elvis came along and made it safe for white acts. Before long, the Beatles and Rolling Stones were selling more albums than Chuck Berry, and nowadays most rock musicians are Caucasian. Most people probably assumed the same thing would happen with rap. After the Beastie Boys, Third Bass and Vanilla Ice made lots of money off this black art form in the ‘80s and ‘90s, it seemed like the writing was on the wall.

But despite Eminem and Paul Wall’s best efforts, white rappers haven’t taken over. In fact, hip hop is blacker than ever. Pretty much every top-selling emcee is a black guy, and – following Relapse’s release and yet another Eminem retirement – it will probably stay that way.
One could even argue that pale spitters are less relevant than ever. I’m not talking about the ribbing they have taken on Ego Trip’s (White) Rapper Show and Malibu’s Most Wanted (which is totally underrated, by the way). I’m talking about the fact that the few Caucasian rappers out there have become sideshows, with almost no commercial viability.
Take nerdcore, the white-dominated subgenre characterized by rhymes about laptops and Star Trek.

It seemed to be gathering momentum a few years ago, with MC Frontalot (great name) leading the way with hilarious self-deprecation rhymes. mc chris, meanwhile, was making a name for himself as Aqua Teen Hunger Force’s MC Pee Pants, even before MF Doom and Danger Mouse got involved with Adult Swim. Last year a documentary on the subject emerged, called Nerdcore Rising.
But the halcyon days are over. Even genre trailblazer MC Lars admits as much. “I saw nerdcore come/ I saw nerdcore go,” he raps on his new album This Giant Robot Kills. He’s probably right. It’s hard to imagine any of these guys crossing over. In fact, the problem with nerdcore is the problem with most white emcees generally. Though sometimes hyper-literate and great storytellers (see MC Paul Barman and the Anticon crew) they often don’t possess the skills most people associate with hip hop.
Contrary to what a lot of white rappers think, rap is not about dropping big words or crafting elegant poetry. It’s about flow, dexterity, style, pizzazz and spontaneity. In a word, it’s about craft. Too many Caucasian emcees, however, see it as a term paper. (Guilty as charged.)
The best cracka rappers – Eminem, RA The Rugged Man and Mac Lethal, in my opinion – articulate interesting ideas, but their appeal goes far beyond that. They each carry a certain bravado and seek to entertain their listeners, rather than trying to impress them with how clever they are. They employ humor, but they’re not about gimmicks. Each has had to battle rap to prove themselves. Through the process I’ll bet they learned that no one in hip hop cares about your skin color, so long as you’ve got skills.

Supreme Magazine & Tatis Entertainment Present the Official Memorial Weekend Grand Finale with Mario Live in Concert at Suite 181

Supreme Magazine the newest online publication focused on hip-hop culture, education, and entertainment in conjunction with Tatis Entertainment is proud to announce The Official Memorial Weekend Grand Finale hosted by RnB Sensation Mario and Nessa from San Francisco’s on WILD 94.9 on Sunday, May 24th, 2009 at Suite 181 in Downtown San Francisco.

The Platinum, Grammy Nominated Artist and Actor Mario will be live on stage at Suite 181 performing tracks from his New Album "And then there was me” as well some of his other tracks including “How Do I Breathe”, “Crying out for me”, and “Music for love”. This is a concert not to be missed this Memorial Day weekend come get up close and personal with Mario at Suite 181 located at 181 Eddy Street in Downtown San Francisco. Advance Tickets are only $15.00 and available at www.suprememag.com VIP Tables and Packages are also available. This is a 21+ event, doors open at 10pm so get there early. Dress code will be strictly enforced at the venue. For more information log on to www.suprememag.com.

Album Review: Jadakiss “The Last Kiss”

Has there ever been a more frustrating rapper than former New York wunderkind Jadakiss?

If you grab any five music critics/hotshit bloggers/wearers of scarves, and ask them to name the top 10 rappers of all time, three things are certain to happen.

1. In no particular order, Biggie, Pac, Em, Nas and Jay will almost always round out the upper half(1).

2. There will be one guy in the group who thinks he’s super hip and includes some dipshit pick like Project Pat just for the sake of being contrarian. He’ll make some inane claim about how “Sippin’ On Some Syrup” was the most culturally relevant song of 2000 and everyone laugh until they realize he’s serious and then they’ll hate him for it.

3. And Jadakiss will sneak onto all of their lists. He’ll most likely sit in the 8th spot, right below Mos Def, who has silently carved out an alcove as everyone’s secret-favorite Earth-rapper, and right above Scarface. (Yeah, bitch, ‘Face is a top 10 pick.)

But despite being universally regarded as possessed of an obvious and seemingly innate talent, Jada has failed to translate that into the mainstream success he endlessly petitions for(2). Unfortunately, The Last Kiss(3) falls right in line with the trajectory of his underwhelming career.

Mind you, singularly there are a few enjoyable tracks on Last. “Cartel Gathering,” which is actually guided to prominence by a Ghostface(4) contribution more than anything else, sees Jada shine in the supplemental role that he’s apparently fated to(5). The ad-lib heavy “Something Else” is unexpectedly earnest in its tough guy talk, and the buzzing Jada does well to match the redundant Young Jeezy’s grumbly grumbling grumble(6).

But collectively, TLK feels bereft of any real point. A few songs, matter of fact, are simple repackaged presentations of past efforts. The Pharrell-provided “Stress Ya” sounds exactly like every other Pharrell-provided song from 2003-2005. I’m pretty sure “Rockin’ With The Best,” an economy of sound brag-track, has been on every Jada mixtape and album ever. And he even goes so far as to replicate “Why,” his one hit of consequence, with “What If,” which, you guessed it, begins each line of each bar with “what if…”(7)

There’s just enough underdog charm on Last to save it from being completely hopeless, but, again, it’s far from the greatness Jada’s been alluding to for the past decade or so.

Maybe it’s time we knocked him down a spot or two off of that list?

(1) It’s completely acceptable if Rakim finds his way up that high.

(2) He’s like rap’s Tracy McGrady.

(3) If I were going to name an album after a Jet Li movie -as far as I know, Jada did not pick the title based on that criteria, but that doesn’t stop “You mean like that shitty Jet Li movie?” comments from being made- I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t have been that one. I mean, it was cool and all, but what about The One? Or War? Or even Lethal Weapon 4? That was way better than The Last Kiss.

(4) Anybody seen him lately?

(5) Perhaps he’s more of a Lamar Odom.

(6) Speaking of, has a rapper ever squeezed more out of less than Jeezy? It’s admirable, really. He’s like a magician that keeps doing the same trick over and over, and yet no matter how many times you see it, you’re still impressed. That takes way more talent than actually learning a bunch of different tricks. ?uestlove knows a bunch of tricks, and look where that got him. On the Jimmy Fallon show. Who’s losing, really?

(7) You have to shoot this song down based on unoriginality alone, but that doesn’t mean it’s any less fun to listen to. Best questions: “What if Peyton was fighting dogs instead of Mike Vick?”; “What if Mike Jackson never would’ve bleached his skin?”; and “What if Shine Beat the case, what if Diddy did a dime flat?” The “What if I ever fulfilled my potential” and “What if I didn’t look so much like a mole?” lines must’ve been cut out during edits.

Predictions for the rest of 2009

The first quarter of 2009 was quite slow; Bow Wow’s latest was among its most notable releases, after all. The most annoying thing was that we were promised many albums that never saw the light of day, from Jay to Lupe to Big Boi to Paul Wall. (Just kidding about that last one - yes it was promised, no I’m not upset.) Still, it hasn’t been all bad; I’ve got nothing against the Jim Jones joint and the new MF Doom album — which I discuss here — is pretty damn good, as is the latest from Minneapolis rapper P.O.S.

What does the rest of the year hold? Glad you asked. Below are my predictions for the final three quarters; I can guarantee their accuracy within a margin of error of 4.39 percent.

Xzibit Records With Neil Young

The rap community is stunned when Pimp My Ride host Xzibit announces he has joined forces with aging hippie grunge god Neil Young to record an album dedicated to automobiles. It is entitled Struts, Shocks, Bud and Glocks. To promote the rock/rap hybrid work, Xzibit customizes Young’s 1959 bio-hydro-electric Lincoln Continental, repainting the exterior royal purple and adding 26 inch rims and suicide doors. Unfortunately, on his first trip out Young is robbed of his rims at gunpoint and subsequently abandons the project.

Eminem, Dr. Dre and 50 Cent albums see release on same day

Relapse, Detox and Before I Self-Destruct, the latest works from the marquee Shady/Aftermath artists, come out on the same July day. In an attempt to publicize the albums in the only way he knows how, 50 starts a beef with both Dre and Slim, his last known friends in the world. After the pair threaten to skip his birthday party, however, 50 retracts his comments and the albums fail.

Asher Roth Dates Eve

Ceasing his attempts to prove his hip hop legitimacy through his rhymes, Asher Roth begins trying to do so through his libido. Fresh off of a breakup, Eve is spotted with the Caucasian rapper at a DQ in Roth’s hometown of Morristown, Pennsylvania. She initially denies the affair but is forced to come clean when a paparazzi snaps a shot of her the newest tattoo on her chest, which reads: “Roth Ryder.”

Lil Wayne’s Rock Album Hits Number One

Lil Wayne’s rock album Rebirth debuts at number one upon its December debut, buoyed by the single “Headbanger’s Balls.” Its video features Wayne jamming with guys wearing tight pants and Pantera t-shirts in a heavy metal club, and is highlighted by a heart-stopping, whammy-bar-assisted, two-minute long guitar solo Wayne appears to play. Guns N’ Roses guitarist Buckethead, however, claims responsibility for the solo and sues for royalties, but the suit is dropped after the pair settle their differences over a dinner of cough-syrup flavored Hawaiian Punch and Popeye’s chicken.

Hip Hop's new 4 elements

I’ve always thought the “four elements” of hip hop were bogus. Sure, back in the early days of the genre rapping, djing, graffiti writing and break-dancing (excuse me, “b-boying”) were all somewhat interwoven into the culture of hip hop. But c’mon. Even back then, it was pretty arbitrary. I mean, it’s not like guys in the Bronx invented tagging. Cavemen were doing that thousands of years ago in their caves.

Nowadays, hip hop is pretty much just one element, rapping, and anyone who talks about four is either an old-timer or an obnoxious elitist. Not to disparage tagging or spinning — be it records or on the ground — but those practices don’t really have much to do with hip hop anymore, or at least what people around the world understand hip hop to be.

The culture has obviously evolved since DJ Kool Herc was playing at block parties, so I think it’s time the “four elements” evolve too.

We’ll keep rapping, obviously, but what else? Wikipedia has listed some other elements, so let’s consider those.

(A) Beatboxing. Um…no. The only people who beatbox today are kids on Riddlin and Jamie Lidell. Although that guy from Police Academy probably still does it, I guess.

(B) Hip hop fashion. Nah. There’s no common aesthetic in hip hop fashion ever since Jay-Z decided to change clothes and go.

(C) Hip hop slang. Since they buried “def” a while back I just don’t feeling comfortable with this.

(D) VJing. I have no idea what this is.

So, what else? What are the most beloved threads of the culture? I’ve thought about this long and hard, and here’s what I’ve come up with. Drum roll, please.

New hip hop element #1: Rims. Who doesn’t love a good rim? After all, if you’ve got nice rims, you’ve got a rap video right there. Personally I like my rims to be 56 inches, so that my car only really needs one tire.

New hip hop element #2: Brown Paper Bags. Any rapper worth his salt has stacks and stacks of cash. What do you think they do with all that cheddar? Invest it in the tanking stock market? Spread it on a Ritz cracker and enjoy a nice snack? I don’t think so. They stuff it into brown paper bags, is what they do.

New hip hop element #3: Girls with gigantic asses. If you ask a teenager in China who Nas is he’ll probably give you a blank stare, but if you ask him who Buffie the Body is, he’ll say “Duh” and point to the giant poster of her on his wall. Then his sister will show you the tattoo on her rear end that says “Tasty,” just like Buffie’s.

So there you have it. Hip hop’s new four elements are rapping, rims, brown paper bags, and girls with gigantic asses.

Now somebody go tell KRS-One, or something.

Fake Recognize Fake

Urban Dictionary defines the phrase “real recognize real” as an “idiom of hip hop culture used to refer to the tendency or ability for real individuals to identify, connect with, or otherwise respect, other real individuals.” The site offers up this hilarious sample usage:

Scalia: “I think equal protection is the most overextended rational in modern day justice”

Roberts: “agreed”

Scalia: “We see eye to eye on this don’t we?”

Roberts: “Hey, real recognize real.”

Scalia: “word”

I love Urban Dictionary, but I hate the phrase “real recognize real,” which has become - with apologies to “swagger” and “dope boy fresh” — hip hop’s most overused expression. Project Pat is only the most recent rapper to give his album this title; others include O.G. Ron C, Poe and St. Louis emcee Nite Owl. There are surely others. Lupe Fiasco has a song of that name, there’s a blog that calls itself that, and even a freaking rap group from Queens uses it as its moniker.

What’s the big deal? You may ask. Good question. I’m not sure why this bothers me so much, actually. Maybe I’m paranoid that one of these guys will see me walking down the street one day and, you guessed it, not recognize me.

But even more than that, to me it indicates the type of lazy, exclusionary thinking that’s so prevalent in hip hop. The idiom implies that They, the rapper, are the shit, while You, the listener, are a loser.

There’s something of a violent undertone to the phrase, too. It seems to indicate that You, the listener, could well be a rat. If real recognize real, then real also recognize fake, and the only reasonable course of action is to snuff you out.

This may be a bit of a stretch, but there’s no doubt this type of thinking has hurt both hurt hip hop’s creativity and its sales. Lazy masculine bravado doesn’t appeal to many people, and it actively excludes people like women and middle-aged folks. There’s about 75 percent of the record-buying public right there.

Thankfully, there are hip hop artists who recognize this and are doing things differently, to great success. Flo Rida’s “Right Round,” for example, is a good-times anthem that samples Dead or Alive’s ’80s dance floor standard “You Spin Me Round (Like A Record).” It was number one for weeks and has broken download records.

Hot on that track’s tail has been Soulja Boy’s “Kiss Me Thru The Phone,” a sweet rap ballad that has turned into his biggest hit since “Crank That (Soulja Boy).” Which makes it one more hit than anyone expected him to have.

I never imagined I’d be singing the praises of these balcony-urinating and (alleged) rabbit murdering emcees, but they both seem to have picked up on an important lesson - that gangster posturing no longer moves records.

You certainly don’t need to be “real” to recognize this; the proof is in the sales figures

Eminem’s New Video- Corny or Legit?

He’s got a new CD on the way, so Eminem’s latest video, “We Made You,” follows his traditional blueprint for early singles. Like “Just Lose It,” “Without Me,” “The Real Slim Shady,” and “My Name Is,” it’s a quick-paced, mainstream-accessible track that takes on defenseless pop culture figures. Whereas in the past he’s gone after folks like Moby, The Spice Girls, and N ‘Sync, this time he spoofs Jessica Simpson, Kim Kardashian, Sarah Palin and others. Though the videos are always funny, the marks always feel a bit too easy, and one wishes Em would have the balls to target, say, other rappers. (Can you imagine how hilarious it would be if he mocked Lil Wayne, T-Pain and Kanye West?) The other common thread in the videos is Dr. Dre, who has played Shady’s adversary, his shrink, his love interest, and, in one of “We Made You”’s funniest bits, his Starship Enterprise commander.

For the song, Em trots out that weird, high-pitched cadence he occasionally raps in, which sounds something like a British 14-year-old. It’s not as much fun as “Crack A Bottle,” in my opinion, but the video’s production quality is high and the concept is clever. The assembled characters - who also include Amy Winehouse, Lindsay Lohan and her (ex?)girlfriend Samantha Ronson - are competing for the affections of Em-as-Bret Michaels on a Rock Of Love type show.

How does “We Made You” stack up against Eminem’s other early singles? Pretty well, actually. It’s a far superior effort to “Just Lose It,” whose impersonations - Pee Wee Herman, Michael Jackson, Vanilla Ice - were already decades outdated when it came out. “The Real Slim Shady” holds up a little better, with Kathy Griffin starring as a One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest-style psychiatric nurse. The low-budget “My Name Is” is a trip to re-watch nowadays; Em dresses up like Johnny Carson and does his golf impression. “Without Me” is a parody of comic books, with a Dick Cheney barb thrown in for good measure. What strikes me about all these videos is how visually interesting they all are and how far Em is willing to go for a laugh; he doesn’t hesitate to don drag, puke, or fry himself in the electric chair.

One wonders how much longer a man who is now 36 can keep pulling off this type of high-octane youth-culture satire, and suspects he will probably keep doing it until another creative, silly emcee with his finger on the pulse of pop culture comes along. (That could be a while.) In any case, I’d bet that these videos will be watched for decades, and eventually serve as time capsules of their eras. Sure, people in the future won’t know who the hell Primus or Tom Green or Fred Durst are, but they’ll get a good sense of our goofy ’90s and ’00s celebrity landscape.

The Struggling Hip Hop Fashion Industry

Ever heard of the housing bubble? Well, something similar is going on in hip hop’s fashion industry right now, where new clothing lines sprout up nearly every day. In fact, almost every rapper or singer you can think of has launched an apparel line at one time or another. Recently, Akon and T-Pain announced their own, since, you know, the market for garish top hats is endless. And it’s not just rappers; Stilts from For the Love of Ray J has a fashion brand coming out this summer.

But just as many are shutting down. Just recently Young Buck’s line, David Brown Clothing, disappeared after less than a year, and everyone from Master P to Biggie to DMX has killed off a clothing line at one point in their lives. (Complex runs down ten of them here.)

Why is everyone in a rush to start a wack-ass apparel line? Well, because they’ve heard the success stories of entrepreneurs like Jay-Z, 50 Cent, Russell Simmons, Diddy, and Nelly.

The problem is that even the lines that seem to be succeeding, often aren’t. Sure, Nelly’s Apple Bottoms jeans has done all right (he definitely owes T-Pain a drink for all that product placement, by the way, or at least a drank) but remember Vokal? That company was touted as huge moneymaker when in actuality it didn’t make shit. I wrote an expose on it a couple years ago.

Vokal shut down production in June 2004 as a result of a legal dispute with its licensee, New York-based ALM International Corporation. ALM had been responsible for manufacturing and distributing Vokal’s products.

By the end of 2004, Vokal was prepared to re-enter the market. That November [co-founder Yomi] Martin told the St. Louis Business Journal he expected $25 million in sales for Vokal over the next eighteen months. He gave the St. Louis Post-Dispatch the same numbers.

But those figures seem to be a product of wishful thinking rather than a realistic business projection. Since the beginning of 2005, Vokal hasn’t manufactured a single item for sale in the U.S. Its Web site hasn’t been updated for two years.

But you can’t blame Nelly and co. for overstating their bottom lines. After all, they learned from the best, Russell Simmons, who could be called hip hop’s grandfather of fabricated financial figures. Though he claimed Phat Farm grossed $350 million in 2003, it turns out the actual figure was not even $20 million.

That’s just how rap business is done, he explained in a 2004 civil deposition: “It is how you develop an image for companies. So, in other words, you give out false statements to mislead the public so they will then increase in their mind the value of your company.”

Had Young Buck’s PR people distributed such creative earnings reports, who knows? Maybe he’d still be in business right now. Then again, if we learned anything from the housing market debacle, it’s that bubbles always burst.