Album Review: Jadakiss “The Last Kiss”

Has there ever been a more frustrating rapper than former New York wunderkind Jadakiss?

If you grab any five music critics/hotshit bloggers/wearers of scarves, and ask them to name the top 10 rappers of all time, three things are certain to happen.

1. In no particular order, Biggie, Pac, Em, Nas and Jay will almost always round out the upper half(1).

2. There will be one guy in the group who thinks he’s super hip and includes some dipshit pick like Project Pat just for the sake of being contrarian. He’ll make some inane claim about how “Sippin’ On Some Syrup” was the most culturally relevant song of 2000 and everyone laugh until they realize he’s serious and then they’ll hate him for it.

3. And Jadakiss will sneak onto all of their lists. He’ll most likely sit in the 8th spot, right below Mos Def, who has silently carved out an alcove as everyone’s secret-favorite Earth-rapper, and right above Scarface. (Yeah, bitch, ‘Face is a top 10 pick.)

But despite being universally regarded as possessed of an obvious and seemingly innate talent, Jada has failed to translate that into the mainstream success he endlessly petitions for(2). Unfortunately, The Last Kiss(3) falls right in line with the trajectory of his underwhelming career.

Mind you, singularly there are a few enjoyable tracks on Last. “Cartel Gathering,” which is actually guided to prominence by a Ghostface(4) contribution more than anything else, sees Jada shine in the supplemental role that he’s apparently fated to(5). The ad-lib heavy “Something Else” is unexpectedly earnest in its tough guy talk, and the buzzing Jada does well to match the redundant Young Jeezy’s grumbly grumbling grumble(6).

But collectively, TLK feels bereft of any real point. A few songs, matter of fact, are simple repackaged presentations of past efforts. The Pharrell-provided “Stress Ya” sounds exactly like every other Pharrell-provided song from 2003-2005. I’m pretty sure “Rockin’ With The Best,” an economy of sound brag-track, has been on every Jada mixtape and album ever. And he even goes so far as to replicate “Why,” his one hit of consequence, with “What If,” which, you guessed it, begins each line of each bar with “what if…”(7)

There’s just enough underdog charm on Last to save it from being completely hopeless, but, again, it’s far from the greatness Jada’s been alluding to for the past decade or so.

Maybe it’s time we knocked him down a spot or two off of that list?

(1) It’s completely acceptable if Rakim finds his way up that high.

(2) He’s like rap’s Tracy McGrady.

(3) If I were going to name an album after a Jet Li movie -as far as I know, Jada did not pick the title based on that criteria, but that doesn’t stop “You mean like that shitty Jet Li movie?” comments from being made- I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t have been that one. I mean, it was cool and all, but what about The One? Or War? Or even Lethal Weapon 4? That was way better than The Last Kiss.

(4) Anybody seen him lately?

(5) Perhaps he’s more of a Lamar Odom.

(6) Speaking of, has a rapper ever squeezed more out of less than Jeezy? It’s admirable, really. He’s like a magician that keeps doing the same trick over and over, and yet no matter how many times you see it, you’re still impressed. That takes way more talent than actually learning a bunch of different tricks. ?uestlove knows a bunch of tricks, and look where that got him. On the Jimmy Fallon show. Who’s losing, really?

(7) You have to shoot this song down based on unoriginality alone, but that doesn’t mean it’s any less fun to listen to. Best questions: “What if Peyton was fighting dogs instead of Mike Vick?”; “What if Mike Jackson never would’ve bleached his skin?”; and “What if Shine Beat the case, what if Diddy did a dime flat?” The “What if I ever fulfilled my potential” and “What if I didn’t look so much like a mole?” lines must’ve been cut out during edits.